http://blondechampagne.today.com One, holy, Catholic, apostolic, and COMPLETELY AWESOME Fri, 09 Oct 2009 23:06:42 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Fr. Bennie Hader Pastor, St. Jerome Parish I'd like to remind everyone that our annual celebration of the Feast Day of St. Francis of Assisi will take place in the Multi-Purpose Churchatorium on Sunday, October 4.  However, this year's celebration will take a slightly different turn from previous installments. In recent years, ... http://blondechampagne.today.com/2009/09/24/a-word-from-the-pastor/ Dear Parishioner Scrupulous: Sometimes I see parents bringing their infants to Mass.  While I'm sure it's laudable to instruct the child in the Faith from the earliest age, sometimes I notice that the baby is sleeping during Mass, or, even worse, playing with some sort of non-religious toy.  Surely this is ... http://blondechampagne.today.com/2009/09/20/ask-parishioner-scrupulous-9/ http://blondechampagne.today.com/2009/09/16/there-are-three-rings-so-its-all-trinity-like/ Hey, you crazy teens!  It can be pretty hard to understand that darned Bible sometimes... Luke 22:54-62, just to pick a completely random set of verses!  Let’s retranslate it in a way you’ll understand it, okay?  Then we’ll talk about drugs. Here are Jesus and Peter on their ... http://blondechampagne.today.com/2009/09/12/american-undercroft-teen-bible-study/ Naomi Jones Parishioner, St. Michael the Archangel Parish  Okay, first of all, I've been sitting in this here folding chair for thirty-eight years running every Tuesday night.  The claim has been staked.  And I've sealed enough envelopes at Rosary Altar Society meetings and trundled enough cupcakes to bake sales to have earned ... http://blondechampagne.today.com/2009/09/09/stop-cluttering-up-my-bingo-space/ http://blondechampagne.today.com/2009/09/03/hes-around-here-somewhere/ Dear Parishioner Scrupulous: Last Tuesday, during his daily Mass homily, our pastor used the word "sensual" in reference to the Psalm selection.  Of course, I was highly offended and wondered what I might do to prevent hearing such smut from the pulpit again.  Suggestions? -Shocked in San Antonio Dear Shocked: Unfortunately, the Bible is ... http://blondechampagne.today.com/2009/08/30/ask-parishioner-scrupulous-8/ WASHINGTON, DC:  The streets of the nation's capital today were clogged with reporters shocked, shocked! at the lack of immediate reaction from the Vatican upon the death of Senator Edward Kennedy. "I just don't understand it," said Amy Postie of CNN.  "He was Catholic.  He was, like, a really important ... http://blondechampagne.today.com/2009/08/25/american-journalists-totally-shocked-that-pope-fails-to-comment-on-death-of-senator-edward-kennedy/ Janet Romano Director of Constant Liturgical Variety,  St. Peter the Apostle Parish This time of the Church year is known as "Ordinary Time," as in ordinal, as in "a whole bunch of numbers," as in... endless opportunities for FUN! Unconstrained by depressing Lent or blocked-by-skiing-vacay Advent, Ordinary Time is an excellent opportunity to ... http://blondechampagne.today.com/2009/08/21/ordinary-time-hardly/ American Undercroft is pleased to present an excerpt from “What Up, Big Guy!”:  A Manual of Updated Prayers for Properly Enlightened Catholics The Catholic Prayer Committee of Proper Deity Addressment and Diverse Multiculturalism faced our Waterloo with this one.  Its very first two words embrace the whole heavy world of paternalism, ... http://blondechampagne.today.com/2009/08/17/the-lords-prayer-vastly-improved-over-the-authors-first-edition/