American Undercroft

WASHINGTON, DC:  The streets of the nation’s capital today were clogged with reporters shocked, shocked! at the lack of immediate reaction from the Vatican upon the death of Senator Edward Kennedy.

“I just don’t understand it,” said Amy Postie of CNN.  “He was Catholic.  He was, like, a really important Catholic who died.  Why wouldn’t the Pope fly out for the funeral?”

Postie then brightened.  “Maybe they’ll name a church after him!”

AP reporter David Nowak attempted an explanation.  “I bet the Pope is angry with him for failing to pass universal health care before he died,” he said.  “What a shame.  He ought to be more forgiving and openminded.”