American Undercroft

Rachel Riley

PSR Coordinator, St. Joan of Arc Parish

Sometimes I hear from Catholic parents who aren’t sure where to send their little ones when it’s time for school.  Sure, the parking lot is awesomely surfaced and the yearly PTA fundraiser dance has an open bar, but truly:  Is that enough?  What about the travelling choir program?  Here’s what to look for when finding the perfect place to begin great fun of offically molding your child in your own image:

• Are the uniforms in an acceptable color palate?   One co-ed school in midtown forces its children into polo shirts of orange.  Orange.
• Are the children taken to Mass at least once a week?  Because if so, look elsewhere. They go once a week with Mom and Dad, which should be more than sufficient.  Make sure class time is put to good use in such projects as puppet theater construction.
• What about lunch?  Are all the cafeteria foods fresh, organic, vegan, sugar free, salt free, colorless, and personally blessed by the Pope?  No?  You must not love your child very much.
• How’s the soccer team?  Extracurriculars are a must, preferably those which attain state championship levels on a yearly basis. You know the old saying:  “Spare the liturgical dance lessons, yoga camp, hemp jewelery making workshop, and lacrosse lessons, ruin the child for Stanford.”

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